So many phrases about time
This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Remember when you were a kid and the whole world was full of wonder and the days were endless adventures in the outdoors. I was blessed to grow up in a small community and we truly had the gift of “not a care in the world”, which I took for granted. Looking back I realize what a blessing it truly was to have such a strong community surrounding me.
Not until moving to the Kootenay’s did a sense of belonging enter my heart and a feeling of home. I am so grateful to give my boys the same sense of community and security I grew up with.
Since Darek’s passing, I have been slowly opening my authentic self to people and what a joy, and terrifying at the same time, to just be.
It has me thinking about why it is so hard to just be my weird and wonderful self?
I think of all the travelling I have been blessed to experience.
There is something very freeing to arrive in a place where no one know, or perceptions of knowing, who you are. I feel the excitement, butterflies in the stomach, and the exhilaration of new everything. Sights, smells, sounds, and tastes are all waiting for you to experience. I am smiling thinking about it.
This made me explore further, to why I feel I cannot approach my life here the same way. There is so much beauty which surrounds us everywhere, being present in that beauty is an amazing gift.
As I probe deeper, I realize I no longer wanted to engage in small talk. I want to know the soul of an individual. I want to challenge the people in my life to look deeper and find a connection beyond the frivolous.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love a great belly laugh, just like the next person. I love to dance and sing at the top of lungs to let go.
What I am talking about is digging deeper to find out what makes people tick. What is their passion, what gives them joy, what makes them truly happy.
I was invited to a neighbors birthday party a few weeks back and was quite nervous about exposing myself. You know the first social outing since becoming labelled a widow and single Mom. For me I still feel very connected to D and our life.
I was watching Netflix with the boys and a female character put to words exactly what I feel.
Remembering is easy, it’s the times I forget he is gone that I can’t stand.
As I prepared emotional for the party, I told myself to be as open as I am on vacation.
Guess what happened, I made much deeper connections with people I had thought I had nothing in common with. The truth is we all want to connect on a deeper level.
So get out there, smile and make those connections.
No recipe this post… off to celebrate my Birthday with a group of amazing women.
Blessings and Much Aloha!
Redefining Grief 