Month: April 2016

It has been 8 months and 2 days since Darek continued his journey. Spring has arrived and I can’t help but think how much he loved this time of year. I even left random piles of weeds on the lawn for him to pick up today. Makes me laugh.

As a new season begins I revel in my transformational journey. I have achieved every goal I had set out to. Incredible and it’s only April.

• Writing a Blog
• First Aid Course
• Hospice Training
• Back to Work
• Certified Paddle Board Instructor

 Now what……..? As we say in yoga it’s time for me to hit the refresh button.

What does that look like? I truly can do anything I set my mind to.

Here are conscious choices I made to move forward on my healing journey:

1. Gratitude – every morning I wake up and say thank you for the day
2. Intention Setting – How can I make even the smallest difference today
3. Yoga – What an amazing gift a daily yoga practice has become to my focus
4. A Mantra – A daily “I am” statement set during my yoga practice
5. Kindness and Compassion – Toward others and most importantly toward myself
6. Cooking – D and I cooked together frequently and I carry his legacy with daily creations of love for my boys
7. Community – Connect with your tribe, people who support and lift
8. The Breath – Conscious breathing is the fasting way to connect and be grounded
9. Acceptance – I am not in control so breathe and let go
10. Move – Whether it be walking or gardening, find some form of movement you enjoy and get out there
11. Laugh – Often and be silly, dance like no one is watching, sing loud and proud
12. Evening Reflection – Reflecting on the day and giving thanks to both the good and the challenges. Both move me forward

Remember it is a choice to do things differently, no one is going to do it for you. Get up each and every day and choose to change who you are!!!!

I am living, breathing, writing proof dreams do come true……

Will you make the choice to look within?????

Blessings and Much Aloha…..

This is authentic JoJo living her passion…..

https://www.dropbox.com/s/pu3e7941cgywj6y/DSCN5904%20-%20Copy.MOV?dl=0

What does dignity mean to you?

I spent yesterday in an advance care planning session focusing on the end of life care and dignity keeps coming to mind.

Watching your friend, lover, partner disappear in front of you and losing the capability to do even the most basic of tasks is heartbreaking. As I look back I can see this was the source of much of D’s anger, trying to come to terms with losing the person he had been. How as a loved one, do you balance wanting to take over and help and giving someone the space to try the task on their own?

I watched the man I fell in love with, strong vibrant knight in armor type, become small frail and helpless. I cry as I picture this, wow memories do ebb and flow. It also made me realize how important it is to have your wishes written down should you be unable to communicate them.

We live in a society which avoids death and planning for it. Think about how you want to continue your journey and talk about death with your kids. It makes the healing process much more manageable if it is all in the open and supporting each other.

One gift Darek left with us was to make his own arrangements and he was struggling to come to terms with dying. He was such a strong man and his values to take care of his family was reflected in this very difficult task.

There are many ways to ensure peace of mind for you and your loved one by having all the detail of how you wish to continue your journey.

Below are a few legal document to consider. Please discuss with a lawyer for details.

Representation Agreement– A document which appoints an individual to take care of routine financial affairs, and support in decision making regarding health and personal care.

Power of Attorney– A document which appoints an individual regarding financial affairs,including real estate

Will– When you die a will lays out how you wish your possessions to be divided.

What is critical to remember is once you die the Representation Agreement and Power of Attorney are no longer valid and your will develops its singing voice. This means your will speaks for you after you are gone.

Imagine never sharing what your final wishes are and leaving your loved ones to do the best they can while overcome with grief. It truly is a gift of love and takes away any doubt on what you wanted.

Push through the discomfort of death and look at it as continuing your journey. Get what you want and even what you do not want down on paper to ensure clarity.

Think of it as a gift of love to your family and friends….

The picture is the sunset I witnessed the night Darek continued his journey. What a beautiful welcome to his destination.

Blessings and Much Aloha…..

The draw to write has been so strong these past few weeks however obligations have veered me down another path.

In keeping with Darek’s tradition of taking the boys to Calgary on March Break, I felt it important to make the journey with them myself. As I was confronted with the sights and sounds of the city my anxiety level increased 100 fold. It was another piece of moving forward as the three of us. That moment when you are faced with unexpected pain and memories which overwhelm your soul and you fight to breathe.

You cannot stop the waves, however you can learn to surf

Jon Kabat-Zinn

With the constant hum of traffic and people going on about their lives without stopping to take in the snow on the mountains or acknowledge a door held or a smile given, a feeling of gratuity to live in the Valley washed over me.

When entering a Shopping Center I was overcome with a barrage of sensory stimulation and  fought to stay grounded as I no longer require material items to fill me up. The constant barrage of images and sale signs were intoxicating however and then suddenly I am enticed into old patterns of behavior.

What are your behavior patterns?

How do you respond to a stressful situation?

It is all in the awareness, what do you indulge in?

• food
• alcohol
• shopping
• spending
• constant complaining
• pleasing others and losing yourself

We live in a society where excess surrounds us with images of what beauty looks like, what wealth looks like and all in the pursuit of the ever illusive “happiness”. More material items do not fill you up and guarantee happiness. It comes from within and it takes constant self care and awareness to stay true to yourself and hold the monkeys in your mind from spilling out and taking over.

I can say from personal experience that trying to fill up on material items in the pursuit of happiness will lead to the opposite. The high of something new quickly turned to buyers remorse. Today these quick fix material items have been given away, replaced by experiences.

Less truly is more.

As I mindfully walk through a day these are a few of the small gifts for which I am grateful.

• Fresh green onion in the garden
• The new flowers bursting through the earth
• The smell of a campfire
• The cushion softness of the moss on the forest floor
• The light and shadow effect of the sun
• The heat of sand under foot
• The piercing cold on skin in the lake
• The droplet patterns on the lake as I paddle
• The call of the geese
• The sound of the paddle as it dip and surfaces in the water
• The wind patterns on the lake
• The sparkle as the sun hits the rocks
• The sound of rhythmic breathing
• The joy of being completely alone
• The exhilaration of running down a forest path
• The warmth of a hug
• The heart swell as the boys say thank you
• The release after a tear pools in your eye and suddenly flows down your cheek

Final Thought…..

What would the world look like if we all just slowed down? We are here for such a short time, what legacy do you wish to leave?

Now food indulgence I know about. Here is a recipe for my birthday carrot cake.

CARROT CAKE

Ingredients

• 5 peeled and shredded Carrots
• 1 cup Pure Maple Syrup
• 3/4 cup sifted Coconut Flour
• 1 Tbsp ground Cinnamon
• 1 tsp Baking Soda
• 1 tsp Sea Salt
• 10 Pastured Eggs
• 10 Dates (Medjool)
• 1 Tbsp Pure Vanilla Extract
• 1 cup melted Organic Coconut Oil
• 1 cup chopped Organic Walnuts
• 1 cup Coconut Milk, solidified on fridge overnight

Method

1. Preheat oven to 325°F
2. Shred carrots scoop into ziplock bag
3. Add maple syrup syrup
4. Marinate in fridge for an hour
5. Sift coconut flour, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda together
6. Chop dates into small pieces
7. Blend eggs, vanilla, melted coconut oil, and dates
8. Add dry ingredients to wet
9. Drain maple syrup from the carrots using a colander
10. Add carrots to batter
11. Grease cake pan and line with parchment paper
12. Bake for 35 minutes until toothpick comes out clean

Icing

1. Spoon coconut milk into bowl
2. Whip on high speed for 3-4 minutes
3. Fold in 1 Tbsp maple syrup
4. Pour over cake
5. Sprinkle with chopped walnuts

This is the best carrot cake I have ever indulged in. It is also a great cupcake recipe just reduce the baking time to 20- 25 minutes.

 

Blessing and Much Aloha!