Reconnecting

The pull of the past can be overwhelming, a need to relive those fading great moments and experiences what feelings the place evokes.

I have felt the need, no physical pull to go back to a place where so much of my character was formed and influenced. A place that shaped me in ways no other has since.

The dream started a few weeks ago, I was walking on a trail alone beside Beauvert Lake filled with such peace and joy. 10 days ago I messaged a friend who tells me she will be in Jasper for 1 day. After 20 years the opportunity to go back presented itself. Without hesitation I said I am so in. The time off work, a place for the boys, it all fell into place.

These are those serendipitous moments which whispers in your ear and if you are not tuned in, can easily pass you by. You can ask the questions…why now, how can I do this, what if……or you can lean in an accept the gift which has been presented.

For the planner this was a true test of letting go. Drove the 8 hours alone through a packed ferry, 3 construction sites, and endless tourist traffic, to arrive at 10:30 PM with just enough light to see those beautiful mountains which hugged me for 5 years. I felt so at peace and full of joy I cried. The beauty was breath taking and it was like the first day I  arrived back in May 1991.

Memories are a strange thing some things were perfectly vivid and others were completely forgotten. It is like watching a movie reel only you are in it and all is distorted by time and memories. I know there were tough sad and stressful times working there however time had softened those memories completely and left only the excitement of connecting with those who were my family for those all consuming 5 years.

Friendships can solidify or fade over the years. Resort life is intense working, eating, sleeping, partying, and living with the same group of people 24 hours a day. Through that intensity we grew inseparable and bonded for life. We became family.

Fast forward 20 years later and our family has grown with spouses and  children however the connection remains. To spend time with a woman who influenced my life so much was amazing and surreal at the same time. Many times I would fall silent, smile and take it all in.  Especially the relationship between mother and daughter.

My little brother had grown into a man with an amazing, grounded wife and partner. To see them interact and the love and respect was a gift. I am proud to see the life he has created.

To reminisce of the times we spent together reminded me of how different our memories are and what we hold on to as individuals. I spent much time in silence and trying to hold onto every word, feeling and moment.

One comment which surprised me was that I was the grounded one of the group. I see that in me every day now however in those days I was just trying to fit in and find my way. Interesting how something so obvious now was just hidden under the surface. It is what happens when you show your true self, your core does not change over time, you just get closer to your true self.

So you can go back…..only you are the best version of yourself which your friends had seen all along.

I do not think I will ever be able to truly express how it felt to reconnect with my Jasper sister however that’s OK the feeling is still here and will remain.

Blessings and Much Aloha……..