Cracking….

Have I developed some hard edges, cynicism about life?

Has what I have been through created a protective shell around my heart?

I watched this beautiful movie of a young girl who believed in destiny and she had been searched for her soul mate since she was a teenager. Turns out it was not quite the happy ending she had created in her mind.

What is a soul mate?

Is it a grande illusion created in your mind or is there someone out there you will meet and your life is forever changed?

I have made connections which have altered my path and changed the course of my life. Someone who looks into your soul and does not fear what they see.

I have loved and I have lost, be it by choice or out of my hands.

I believe in a grande, passionate, soul connecting love, however have a great fear of opening my heart after such grief and pain.

To let go of the illusion and be open to a soul connection is daunting.

There is so much love within me I fear it will burst to the surface like a spring flower.

My definition of connection is to share, be touched, held and be open.

I feel I am riding the wave of my emotions in order to avoid diving deep and discovering my most authentic self.

Those who know and love me know I love “my bubble”, it’s safe, protected and comforting. The dilemma of a bubble is it can become stagnant or burst at any given moment.

I wait…..for what? Like by some miracle someone will knock on my door with a sign the says “here’s your future”.

My future, my destiny is within my reach and the choices I make directly affect my future.

Just now I thought “when the boys are done school I will…” Why does it have to be later? What is stopping me from plunging into my dreams right now?

I want to explore new destinations, meet new people and feel the joy of discovery.

What can do to move forward with my dream?

Acknowledge I am afraid….OK I am terrified of hurt and pain…

Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all…Alfred Lord Tennyson

So if I live the rest of my life safe in my bubble what chance is there for growth, joy, or love for that matter?

Authenticity can be uncomfortable. It means not settling in work, relationships, life at all. It means not fitting into society’s need to conform.

2. Embrace my uniqueness

I love to burst into song at any given moment and dance. I search for beauty in every moment with an open heart and mind. I can sit and stare at the ocean for hours soaking in its movement and life. I am a dreamer.

3. Share my story

This blog started as my journey to health through changing the way I consume food and has now shifted to healing through sharing my story, open and honestly. I find peace when I write and feel joy in sharing a glimpse into my life.

So if you are willing to crack my soft shell you will expose genuine love and passion.

Blessings and Much Aloha……