What is Brave….

Today the waves came with a vengeance and as they crashed around me the tears flowed. I stood firm allowing the emotions to come with the pain. This time I held my ground not running or filling the void with food or other distractions. Accepting where I was at that moment.

When the waves quieted and as I came back from the edge I felt relief and joy. It does not get easier however now I sit with my sorrow, learn from it, grow strong in my alone time, and look inward for peace.

I desperately want to reach for the phone and hear a loving voice however stopped myself as who truly understands any ones loss or pain. The one person who comes close to knowing is on her own journey through loss.

I have no great wisdom to share to support you through your lose, I can only share my story in hope it will bring some comfort and sense of peace. There is no right way to grieve, only your way. It is a personal journey with a thread of the familiar.

When I now recognize the signs of an impending wave I no longer distract myself or run away. I sit and breathe in all the pain, loneliness, and fear of my thoughts and accept this is where I am in my healing.

Today I focus on that which brings me joy and swim to the surface for that long cleansing breath. A walk in the snow, taking pictures of the beauty which surrounds me. Cooking a delicious meal for the boys and just be in my thoughts.

When the waves come, and they come when your logical self believes you are at peace, I rise to meet them instead of going under.

These actions have supported my healing.

• Getting outside and breathing in the beauty
• Yoga and breath
• Find a passion. I write, cook and capture moments with photography
• Show kindness. Today I delivered cookies
• Tell stories of D
• Cry, weep, let it out
• Laugh from deep inside with people I love
• Reach out
• Sharing my story
• Being authentically me

I asked Adryan today “What’s something I say a lot?” His response was “I love you”

Now that is the greatest gift in my healing for my boys to truly know how much I love them and it to be what I say most to them.

Today in my quiet moment, I am vulnerable even brave…

I find the strength and courage to be vulnerable by allowing my thoughts to form words and through this process my healing continues.

Blessings and Much Aloha….