Lightening….

The shift began not long before D passed away, the realization that holding onto anything is truly not in your control however this realization does not make it an less painful of a process.

D began this journey of lightening by letting go of all his possessions while he was here to those he loved. I watched as he moved away from stuff, to fear and anger, to letting be.

I remember so clearly he and I going through his clothes together, saving some for the boys, some to friends and family and the rest were donated. I learned a different kind of strength that day, watching him laugh and smile.

My memory of this time is slowly returning as I heal and move through the emotions. I feel joy and sadness at once as a memory drifts by.

The material things D collected do not bring me closer to him. It is in a fleeting moment of clarity with a memory that I can feel, smell and remember his touch. Tears formed as I wrote those words. Touch and smell are powerful senses.

What may seem strange and foreign to many is the feeling of marriage lingers long after lose, both the joy and pain.

I began the decluttering, minimizing, or purging a few weeks after D died. It began as a way to distract myself from thinking of the pain and loss, however quickly turned into the fact that simplifying brings forward what was truly important and what legacy I wanted to leave the boys.

I am on day 14, ironically Valentine’s Day, into a month challenge to lightening the masses of stuff collected over the past 20 years. The single years, the boyfriend years, the husband years, and the kids years have all contributed to the overwhelming piles of stuff…

For me stuff has always represented prestige, keeping up with the Jones, and the one thing you think will fill the void in your being. Is that not so glaringly obvious what society wants us to believe, excess is happiness. That cannot be further from my truth.

As I move from room to room, box to box, item to item I begin to feel freer and lighter and not the burden or heaviness. Sometimes I pause to look at the item, such as my journals from 1988, and decide to read it one last time reflect on how much I’ve grown and then let them go.

Living in the Valley has brought me back to the basics. Being in nature, yoga, writing, and simplifying my life.

There is an overwhelming amount of writing and media regarding minimalism. To me it is to live without excess. By excess, I mean material possessions not without kindness and generosity. If you choose this path, it is what you make it, not what others believe it to be.

I began in my clothes closet which, in itself put me over the edge. Too many choices are not necessarily a good thing. How many of these items were bought on a whim, a quick pick me up. Buyer’s remorse, ah yes many times.

Each item I took off the hanger, tried it on and then either kept it or put it in the donate pile. What made me part with something. If it lifted me up I kept it. It truly did come down to joy, did it bring me joy.

The less and less stuff I have the more and more joy and lightness I feel.

This is my journey, it may seem similar to others, however we all make choices and the choices I make are opening my heart and soul to the wondrous possibilities of living with less….

My journey to Pura Vida! Living a peaceful, simple, uncluttered life with a deep appreciation for nature, family and friends.

Blessings and Much Aloha….