November 2017 – Redefining Grief

Like the strength of the sun as the seasons change grief can soften and burn with intensity from one moment to the next. During those intense moments a strength like no other comes to the surface and holds space with the pain.

When your path changes so dramatically overnight how do you move, shape, morph into a new version of yourself? You after tragedy….

Resilience, how to pick yourself up when being swallowed by pain. I can’t say you bounce back, move on, or ever get over it. You rise, fall and experience intense moments of both joy and sorrow. It becomes your constant companion woven into your being.

I can say my constant companion has awakened me from complacency, the fog of merely going through the motions of life. I find joy in the smallest of moments and at times it takes my breath away. The things I took for granted come to the forefront and I stop, immerse myself and find gratitude in that space.

I have found myself drawn to and others drawn to me by the common thread of grief. That instant connection with someone and not until the connection deepens do you both realize loss has brought you together. The powerful bond of shared loss in search of empathy and a level of understanding.

Everyone experiences loss in their own way, even with commonalities, no ones is the same. I will never truly understand another’s pain however in sharing my experience hope to provide insight to healing.

I believe how you respond to tragedy determines your path. My reality is to move through life with eyes wide open to the wonder and joy.

I am no longer part of the human arrogance, being oblivious to the expiry date we all have in this life. The illusion of having more time. The drive for more money and materialistic items. The constant noise of busyness.

I find when I allow the busyness of the world to surround me I become scattered, moody, anxious, and withdrawn.

In stillness I find my connection with nature and my spirit. In that silence I become more aware, taking in the smallest of details which surround me.

What would happen if you sat in stillness right now?

In this world of constant noise I challenge you to sit in silence and see where it takes you.

Share your experience with me.

Blessings and Much Aloha…

November and its many shades of grey impacts me on so many levels. It has always been a tough one for me and this year profoundly so. It is an instant switch from the glorious sun to the clouds which move in and lay heavy for weeks. More hours of darkness in the day than light.

Then there is the shift in my body. The constant brain fog, the lack of focus, the sense of hibernation, the craving for all which is comfort food and a marked increase in appetite. The shift from constant motion to full on stop is intense. My body cries out in protest with stiffness, body aches, joint pain all pronounced by stress. Skin and hair so dry it screams for nourishment.

The mental shift is even greater. I am restless, unfocused, scattered, turning inward, not wanting to interact with others. I am content to spend time alone with not a word escaping from me. Hours spent living in the past or obsessing about the future, choosing not to actively participate in each moment which is life.

I share this insight, as my heart knows I am not alone in this, and to express the darkness inside only leads to my light returning.

Here’s the thing, it is a choice to stay in the grey or reach in and return to the rituals which have proven successful. Yes routine, those ritual which bring daily joy. I have a routine which has proven to work for me, however it is so easy to let it go and much work and commitment to stay on track. We are only as great as of next thought.

What will you commit to today, to move forward?

Life is full of seasons, challenging and joyful. Recognizing this is key to changing the pattern. We are creatures of habit and the tendency to take the easy way is greater than challenging oneself to break the pattern.

What works for you?

These rituals consistently bring out my best self….