As the new day dawned I smile filled with joy and gratitude for this life. This practice is scientifically proven to rewire your brain.
My thoughts move to love and it’s meaning and how it has impacted my life in many forms and as I grow, how it’s definition has shifted my perspective.
What is love?
Love of parent
Love of friend
First love
Love of boyfriend
Love and bond of parent to child
Love of husband
Love of nature
Deep spiritual love
Unconditional love
Unrequited love
So many differences however I realize it is all the same. From the heart skipping beat of new love to the deep connective life changing love of giving birth and guiding and molding that child into their own beautiful entity.
It is extraordinary to know the most painful experiences in my life have cracked my heart wide open and I now see it’s true gift and power.
As a child you look to your parents for the meaning and actions of love. A comforting word, hug and safe space.
In the teen years the role models change as you discover the opposite sex and love takes on new meaning.
As you enter the tumultuous 20’s it can shift to what you get from another person. An all about me attitude and unrealistic expectations of the other person, as they are trying to figure it out too.
The 30’s are waffling between total surrender and high expectations ending in heartache.
A profound shift in me occurred when I became pregnant, not planned however a blessing, and the birth of the boys was my first experience of protective, unconditional, overwhelming love. The fear and joy equally poured out as I stared at these two tiny perfect creature created out of love.
I became the quintessential doting mother and for the first time felt a purpose beyond myself. The power and joy of molding a tiny human was both overwhelming and so powerful. It was no longer about me. It was a huge lesson in humility and continues to be as the boys are reaching adulthood.
For me, as a woman, the 40’s became a time of acceptance, less expectations and loving myself. The shift of focusing on me guided me to deeper connections. My circle of influence became smaller and more meaningful. Those select few enriched my life and allowed me to blossom into a kinder, loving, and accepting person.
Then my life shifted once again and the amount of loss was incredibly heavy. In the space of months Darek died, a friends husband, an Uncle, a brother in law, and a dear girlfriend.
The weight of it threatened to break me, however through this my heart opened wider as a hand guided me through and touched the depth of my soul and brought resilience and resourcefulness.
I know without a doubt where the strength came from. I believe there is something bigger than humanity and in our deepest despair we can access this.
Whether you call it prayer, meditation or spirituality we all have the ability to access this in the dark times. The key is to believe there is more than ourselves.
Today the sense of peace and joy in my heart guides me. We never stop growing, the key is to work through the pain and not remain in it. Feel it, learn from it and grow. I am far from being all knowing however feel a sense of wisdom, which was not present in my 20’s and 30’s.
How grateful I am to reflect back on life experience so far and feel so blessed for every moment as it has shaped who I am today.
Every form of love shapes you ,whether it be pain or joy, it is growth. Once you accept this you come back stronger and wiser. Every experience shapes you. Even in rejection you are guided to new experiences, however tough, in that moment, to see through the pain. Rejection, I have learned, is the lesson and guides the way to your truth. On that path, take time to reflect on what that truth means to you and follow it.
Love, to me, is kind, accepting, without conditions, supportive, forgiving, and filled with grace. Forever learning and course correcting until you leave this earth.
Love with your whole heart, dive in, and watch the metamorphosis occur.
If you can, share your story with others. You can never truly know the impact and influence you have on another unless you share your story.
How has your perception of love changed as you have grown through this human experience,both joyful and painful?
Blessings and Much Aloha!
Redefining Grief 