Month: May 2019

Falling in love, the sweet joy, terror and excitement of a new relationship.

Love is just a word, until someone arrives to give it meaning – Paulo Coelho

Have you ever stopped to think how and why we fall in love with someone?

 
Through my journey of self discovery and years of successful and not so successful relationships here is what I have learned.

Chemistry

 
That certain spark, attraction, and draw to someone is where it all begins.

Who are you drawn to? Do you have a type? What is this chemical reaction when you are attracted to someone?

For me it’s all in the eyes. They are the window to the soul after all.

You can tell so much from meeting someone new from their eyes. Over time, through many interactions and self love I now boldly look into someone’s eyes when I first meet them to see into the depths of their being.

I believe love at first sight does not exist, more than not, it is lust.

Only in spending time getting to know someone and being open can you fall in love and build a foundation of a loving relationship.

Chemistry is important however only a piece of a loving, lasting relationship.

Commitment 

What does commitment mean to you in any of your relationships?

It is so important to have this conversations in any relationship in your life.

Equally important is to realize how a relationship ebbs, flows, and changes over time as we grow and learn together.

Commitment is a verb, just as love is.

Wanting to know another person to the core. The amazing, the challenges, and even the dark places.

This is such a show of vulnerability to allow yourself to be authentic and open with another person.

In sharing these vulnerabilities you grow more connected and fall deeper in love.

Yes, I realize this can create fear and doubt however we all are worthy and to be with people who love the authentic you.

How freeing it is to be completely yourself.

I am at a place in my life where I accept me for me and blessed and grateful to have found that with another authentic spirit.

No games, only love…

There is an ease in commitment now. I am whole on my own however the world is so much brighter now.

Commitment is shared goals, values, and dreams.

Commitment is also challenging each other, growing and learning from each other.

Commitment is knowing what you want and not settling for less.

Communication

This is where the most growth comes in any relationship.

How do you communicate in your relationships?

Do you allow your ego to lead a conversation or argument or do you truly listen to your love, friend, or child and allow them to truly communicate in a safe space?

If we are truly honest with ourselves, ego leads us in many disagreements as we immediately become defensive in an argument instead of searching within to seek what is truly the issue.

So what this means is you must share you communication style with others and ask what theirs is.

How do you respond under stress?

What triggers stress in you?

How do you want to be loved? The book 5 Love Languages dives into this and is a great tool in any relationship.

Even if it is difficult to share, consider how much more difficult it is to hold back how you feel and the consequences of not sharing.

Being completely upfront regarding your beliefs and goals opens the door to mutual respect and understanding.

Isn’t that what we all want, to be loved wholly for who we are?

Be willing to face the fear of vulnerability and watch your relationships flourish.

Apathy leads to the ordinary.

 

Leave a comment on how you have nurtured loving relationships….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been almost four years since Darek continued his journey and I now feel the readiness to open my heart and love once again.

Once that decision was made it was as if God’s hand guided me. I felt lighter, more open and vulnerable.

Then it happened, we met and my mind was racing, my heart protected itself and a shyness enveloped me like nothing I had felt since high school however with the wisdom of experience I allowed you in.

We spent 4 hours together on our first meeting getting to know each other through stories, laughter and the forest surrounding us as we walked.

I soon felt myself relaxing and sharing more. I then hooked my arm in yours as we walked as it felt so natural.

The boldness I felt took me by surprise however I was committed to showing my authentic self to you.

I could feel your nervousness and a protective wall around your heart as well.  This realization allowed me to open my heart to possibility.

I remember the drive home from our first meet and feeling so overwhelmed with emotion….fear, joy, and guilt, all irrationally taking over.

The tears flowed as I poured it out in spare Mom’s arms.

Fear does have a purpose though. It can motivate or cripple, it is your choice to remain stuck or push through.

Then it hit me….vulnerability leads to transformation.

Over the next few weeks we talked daily deepening our connection.

With each conversation, touch of your hand and hug I felt a deeper connection as if our souls recognized each other.

Remember that feeling when you catch your breath at just the thought of someone and your heart feels as though it will burst from your chest?

And all the funny aspects such as butterflies, the wide silly grin, not being able to eat and the craziest no filter.

Every thought I had came out of my mouth.

Falling in love, sigh….

Every aspect of my life transformed.

The colors around me became more vibrant and I radiated joy.

I began to share my joy with the world as well in the form of small kind gestures and words.

Abundance surrounded me as well in the form of many blessing and I am so grateful.

I remember the day when you shifted, let the last of your walls come down and your heart became wide open. I then felt so much love from you and I completed surrendered to you.

Love is a risk worth taking.

It is the greatest gift to give and receive in this life and has the power to heal like nothing else.

I now realize I was so closed off for so many years, thinking that protecting my heart would keep it from pain when in reality it kept all the pain fresh and constant, carrying it with me like a familiar companion.

I now feel the transformation and surrender to it.

Tear fill my eyes as I acknowledge all the pain and loss and how now I am filled with so much joy.

It has been a long painful journey to come back to me and be willing to choose love once again.

Think about it though, do you want to come to the end of your life and have regrets and what ifs?

I feel connected to my true self and am no longer holding back.

Diving into the depths.