Falling in love, the sweet joy, terror and excitement of a new relationship.
Love is just a word, until someone arrives to give it meaning – Paulo Coelho
Have you ever stopped to think how and why we fall in love with someone?
Through my journey of self discovery and years of successful and not so successful relationships here is what I have learned.
Chemistry
That certain spark, attraction, and draw to someone is where it all begins.
Who are you drawn to? Do you have a type? What is this chemical reaction when you are attracted to someone?
For me it’s all in the eyes. They are the window to the soul after all.
You can tell so much from meeting someone new from their eyes. Over time, through many interactions and self love I now boldly look into someone’s eyes when I first meet them to see into the depths of their being.
I believe love at first sight does not exist, more than not, it is lust.
Only in spending time getting to know someone and being open can you fall in love and build a foundation of a loving relationship.
Chemistry is important however only a piece of a loving, lasting relationship.
Commitment
What does commitment mean to you in any of your relationships?
It is so important to have this conversations in any relationship in your life.
Equally important is to realize how a relationship ebbs, flows, and changes over time as we grow and learn together.
Commitment is a verb, just as love is.
Wanting to know another person to the core. The amazing, the challenges, and even the dark places.
This is such a show of vulnerability to allow yourself to be authentic and open with another person.
In sharing these vulnerabilities you grow more connected and fall deeper in love.
Yes, I realize this can create fear and doubt however we all are worthy and to be with people who love the authentic you.
How freeing it is to be completely yourself.
I am at a place in my life where I accept me for me and blessed and grateful to have found that with another authentic spirit.
No games, only love…
There is an ease in commitment now. I am whole on my own however the world is so much brighter now.
Commitment is shared goals, values, and dreams.
Commitment is also challenging each other, growing and learning from each other.
Commitment is knowing what you want and not settling for less.
Communication
This is where the most growth comes in any relationship.
How do you communicate in your relationships?
Do you allow your ego to lead a conversation or argument or do you truly listen to your love, friend, or child and allow them to truly communicate in a safe space?
If we are truly honest with ourselves, ego leads us in many disagreements as we immediately become defensive in an argument instead of searching within to seek what is truly the issue.
So what this means is you must share you communication style with others and ask what theirs is.
How do you respond under stress?
What triggers stress in you?
How do you want to be loved? The book 5 Love Languages dives into this and is a great tool in any relationship.
Even if it is difficult to share, consider how much more difficult it is to hold back how you feel and the consequences of not sharing.
Being completely upfront regarding your beliefs and goals opens the door to mutual respect and understanding.
Isn’t that what we all want, to be loved wholly for who we are?
Be willing to face the fear of vulnerability and watch your relationships flourish.
Apathy leads to the ordinary.
Leave a comment on how you have nurtured loving relationships….
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