Planning Next Steps…..

What does dignity mean to you?

I spent yesterday in an advance care planning session focusing on the end of life care and dignity keeps coming to mind.

Watching your friend, lover, partner disappear in front of you and losing the capability to do even the most basic of tasks is heartbreaking. As I look back I can see this was the source of much of D’s anger, trying to come to terms with losing the person he had been. How as a loved one, do you balance wanting to take over and help and giving someone the space to try the task on their own?

I watched the man I fell in love with, strong vibrant knight in armor type, become small frail and helpless. I cry as I picture this, wow memories do ebb and flow. It also made me realize how important it is to have your wishes written down should you be unable to communicate them.

We live in a society which avoids death and planning for it. Think about how you want to continue your journey and talk about death with your kids. It makes the healing process much more manageable if it is all in the open and supporting each other.

One gift Darek left with us was to make his own arrangements and he was struggling to come to terms with dying. He was such a strong man and his values to take care of his family was reflected in this very difficult task.

There are many ways to ensure peace of mind for you and your loved one by having all the detail of how you wish to continue your journey.

Below are a few legal document to consider. Please discuss with a lawyer for details.

Representation Agreement– A document which appoints an individual to take care of routine financial affairs, and support in decision making regarding health and personal care.

Power of Attorney– A document which appoints an individual regarding financial affairs,including real estate

Will– When you die a will lays out how you wish your possessions to be divided.

What is critical to remember is once you die the Representation Agreement and Power of Attorney are no longer valid and your will develops its singing voice. This means your will speaks for you after you are gone.

Imagine never sharing what your final wishes are and leaving your loved ones to do the best they can while overcome with grief. It truly is a gift of love and takes away any doubt on what you wanted.

Push through the discomfort of death and look at it as continuing your journey. Get what you want and even what you do not want down on paper to ensure clarity.

Think of it as a gift of love to your family and friends….

The picture is the sunset I witnessed the night Darek continued his journey. What a beautiful welcome to his destination.

Blessings and Much Aloha…..